Those of us with chronic mental or physical illness are constantly living in a world of pretend, well at least to the extent that we not only hide our pain from others but also hide the pain from ourselves. I’ve been struggling with Lyme disease and multiple co-infections since age 10 and finally received a diagnosis of neurological Lyme Disease last summer at age 20, the same diagnosis as my mother, who was misdiagnosed for 12 years. Watching my mom power through the pain has taught me how to keep going myself even when it feels unbearable, or when friends and family get “annoyed” with my complaining. I’ve come to the realization that even though my pains may be horrible in certain moments, it doesn’t mean that others aren’t going through their own kind of pain, regardless of how severe it is. Pain is pain. So what keeps me going is my rational mind and faith in myself that I can push through. And believe it or not, we all have the power to make it by.
Beautiful Disguise
by Katie Lustig
Throbbing,
Aching,
and Robbing of my fragile spine.
I lay here, thinking,
just to pass the time.
But somehow
burning flames
still penetrate my mind.
Anger, frustration—
deep down inside.
Leaving me lonely,
forcing me to hide.
Because if I decide
to cry out my eyes
in front of society’s pitiful guise
then I would be the one in disguise.
You see, I’d be lying
If I said my pains were
worse than your baby’s crying.
Because, simply we’re all just trying
to comprehend why
such awful things happen
to those trying to get by.
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