Weakness Is Not Quitting
Waking up with a chronic illness every day is the usual set of problems, the symptoms may change but the limitations are fairly consistent. The beginning and end of the day are hardest for me. When I wake up, I know I have another day of the same fight, the same disease, and when I […]
My Illness may have my body, but it does not have me
“Chronic illness is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to go through in my life. It often feels nearly impossible to wake up every morning and continue the fight. There have been so many times throughout my journey where I didn’t want to fight anymore, wanted to give into my illness– let my body win.”
Once upon a Lyme … Disease!
My story, thankfully, is not as tragic and debilitating as some who have unfortunately found themselves with the diagnosis of “Chronic Lyme Disease.” I lived in CT my whole life and was very familiar with Lyme. Everyone knew someone who had it! No biggie – just take Doxycycline, right? Well anyone who was diagnosed years too […]
An Open Letter to The Doctor Who Ignored My Illness
Dear Doctor, I do not want you to feel singled out by this letter. I am actually hoping you learn something from it and one less person will have to go through the torture I went through just to receive a diagnosis. You were only one of seven doctors who told me I did not have […]
Living With Turner Syndrome
Having two very short parents my short stature wasn’t exactly a surprise. I was born at 17” long (a size now mandated by law to require additional testing) and grew up just tall enough to fly under the radar. It wasn’t until I was about six years old when my parents noticed that while my […]
My Inspiration To Become An RRT
Most people find their inspiration in a parent, an older sibling, or even someone famous. For me, it was my younger sister – a beautiful person inside and out.
High Functioning Anxiety
I have high functioning anxiety. What is high functioning anxiety, you ask? Strangely, it doesn’t mean that my anxiety is constantly functioning and that it is constantly in effect. It actually has nothing to do with the amount of anxiety you feel on a daily basis. This is the quote that hit home for me. […]
Looking Forward When You Fall Back
Most of the friends that I have talked with about my Osteomyelitis have been very supportive, but they still don’t fully ‘get it.’ So far, I’ve had two surgeries in the past two months (both emergencies) to stop the spread of the infection in my bones. The first surgery led to the amputation of my […]
How I Found A Few Extra Spoons In A Haystack Of Spirochetes
Recently, I was asked to describe how Lyme Disease has changed my life. Originally, the words that I used to try to answer this question reeked of pain. Truthfully, yes, this disease has broken me in ways I never thought possible. But I can’t go there. Going there would only be a setback. If you […]
To The One Who Denied A Familiar Shadow, Despite Having Their Own
This is a poem I wrote to get the words that bubbled in my chest out. It is inspired by a number of relationships – friendships, family relationships, and romantic. It hurts when someone acts like they don’t know you, but I found a way to find light in that.
I Lost My “Creative”
When I was diagnosed with chronic neurological Lyme last may, I lost a part of my identity– my creative drive that truly makes me who I am. Neurological disorders, since they are in your brain and nervous system, can affect the most cherished parts of ourselves. This poem is a realization that I could never […]
Beautiful Disguise
Those of us with chronic mental or physical illness are constantly living in a world of pretend, well at least to the extent that we not only hide our pain from others but also hide the pain from ourselves. I’ve been struggling with Lyme disease and multiple co-infections since age 10 and finally received a […]