Before tackling the issue of negative self-talk that most of us have troubles with, we need to define ‘self-talk’. Self-talk encompasses all the thoughts we have in our minds, the way we react to different situations (especially those that are negative) and the feelings we develop about ourselves related to our behavior in certain life situations. Self-talk can be both positive and negative. Most people develop negative self-talk, which highly influences their self-esteem and self-confidence, which means they consider themselves unworthy and shameful. On the other hand, positive self-talk affects our personality and going about in life positively. The good thing about the self-talk is that we can change it from negative to a positive one by making a few lifestyle changes.
1. Where does the pattern of self-talk come from?
The transformation with positive self-talk starts from identifying the origin of our self-talk and its nature. Negative self-talk usually stems from our childhood and the statements from our parents, siblings, friends and teachers. These statements usually sound like “You can’t do anything right!”, “You are stupid.”, “I can’t trust you with anything” and so on. Hearing sentences like these constantly over and over again makes us feel bad about ourselves. Our minds keep replaying them years and years after they were spoken. We end up feeling sad, angry, depressed, worthless, stupid and so on. However, these negative thoughts and feelings can be overwritten. It is simply unrealistic to expect perfection from everybody as well as ourselves and to only face pleasant and cheerful situations in life. Instead, it’s important to learn how to deal with them and that means transforming negative self-talk into a positive one. Because of the gravity of the consequences of the negative self-talk, many people in Australia turn to cognitive behavioral therapy for professional help.
2. Transform negative thoughts into positive ones
One way to start overwriting those is to write down all the negative thoughts and reactions to different situations that cross your mind. Now, try finding a positive perspective for each of the messages. It will be hard, undoubtedly, but there is a positive truth to every single one of those negative ones. For instance, if you were constantly told “You can’t do anything right!”, try finding a good thing about that. Overwrite the message with positive self-talk such as “I learn from my messages and thus become a better person.” Self-talk is a real deal. It can really help you by learning to recognize the truth and positive side in every situation life puts in front of you. We are only human, and it is perfectly normal to make mistakes. The trick is to learn how to deal with them with positive self-talk as it’s power is staggering.
3. Ways to look better and boost your confidence
Looking good and self-confidence are terms closely related. If we look good we feel self-confident. And if we feel self-confident, our thoughts are infused with positive self-talk. There are a few killer actions that will boost your self-confidence. Smile more because laughter is the best medicine. If the bad condition of your teeth impedes your smile, take the matter into your hands and find out about whitening your teeth or denture cost in Central Coast or in the place you live in. Dress nicely, be kind and generous, be grateful, volunteer – they ate all small things you can easily affect and that will boost your self-confidence.
4. How to harness the power of self-talk?
The power of positive self-talk is usually underestimated. In order to harness the power of self-talk, we can take some actions.
The importance of ‘I am’ statements
The ‘I am’ statements we make daily are essential. If they are followed by optimistic and enthusiastic words, perfect! You are already on the right way of positive self-talk. However, if your ‘I am’ statement is followed by something bad, you can try changing the ‘I am’ part into ‘I feel.’ Why is this important? Even though they sound similar, there’s a huge difference in these two. The ‘I am’ statement refers to our inherent attributes while the ‘I feel’ statement denotes our current, temporary state. Try this strategy when you feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts.
Speaking ill of other people is something you want to avoid as your body and mind are constantly listening and absorbing your thoughts no matter if they are positive and negative and whether they regard you or other people. Try giving compliments to people around you. It will promote positive self-talk you crave for.
The perception of self
The power of positive self-talk lies in the perception of self. You can work on enhancing your positive self-talk by treating yourself as a friend. That means that the next time you catch a negative thought in your mind, ask yourself how you would feel if someone said that to your close friend or a family member. If you wouldn’t feel great, then work on re-phrasing the negative sentence into a positive one.
Changing the train of thoughts from negative to positive ones takes time and effort, so be patient. Start small, and you’ll see the results in no time.