Mighty Well
  • Shop
  • Learn
  • Journal
  • Join Us
  • Who We Are

Mighty Well

  • Shop
  • Learn
  • Journal
  • Join Us
  • Who We Are
Friends in the FightThe Undefeated

Be a Better Ally: Top 10 Tips!

by Ariela Paulsen August 20, 2019August 20, 2019
written by Ariela Paulsen
Be a Better Ally: Top 10 Tips!

Being a Friend in the Fight means flexing your empathy and action muscles frequently. We are always supporting our fellow illness warriors, online and in our day to day lives. As a result, Friends in the Fight can make great allies for anyone with complex, intersecting identities!

Whether you want to be an ally to someone you love with a chronic illness or disability, or someone who is marginalized for an identity that isn’t health-related, or you simply believe in being an ally as a way to oppose oppression, here are some tips to get you going:

1. Remember you aren’t the expert

2. Educate yourself

3. Listen and believe

4. Learn about your own privileges and biases

5. Don’t assume one way or the other

6. Speak up… but not over!

7. Amplify voices without your privilege

8. Respect safe spaces

9. Find ways that work for you

10. You will make mistakes and that’s ok!

1. Remember you aren’t the expert — but that’s ok!

Many people shy away from being active allies because they don’t feel like “experts.” You don’t need to know 100% what it’s like to be part of a marginalized group in order to stand up for them! You just need to have empathy for their situation and the guts to stand for what’s needed. Try to remember, though, in advocating for others, that you aren’t part of that group, and that you don’t have all the answers. That being said…

2. Educate yourself

The more you know, the better you understand, and the greater your impact. The internet is FULL of resources for aspiring allies! Read as much as you can. Watch videos. Get to know people from different walks of life. In all of your research, include a range of voices and perspectives. And please remember, it is not the responsibility of the marginalized person to educate the world about their perspective. It is the responsibility of those with privilege to educate themselves in ways that don’t exhaust the time and energy of the very people you’re trying to support!

3. Listen and believe

While you should be careful to not barrage people with uncomfortable questions, when someone comes to you with an experience or a way in which you could help, listen. Hear them out, try to see from their perspective, and don’t let your own worldview act as blinders. Believe what they have to say. Nothing shuts down open dialogue quite like being told by someone that a barrier doesn’t exist for you, simply because they’ve been privileged to never experience it.

4. Learn about your own privileges and biases

In order to truly understand someone else’s barriers, you need to examine the ways in which you’ve received a pass. Privilege can feel tricky and uncomfortable, but it’s actually not that complicated! Videos like this one help explain: “Privilege does not mean that you’re rich, that you’ve had an easy life, that everything’s been handed to you, and you’ve never had to struggle or work hard. All it means is that there are some things in life that you will not experience or have to think about just because of who you are.”

Not only do we all have privileges, but we also all have bias! Before confronting others’ biases, it helps to think about your own, so that you can understand how people come to feel these negative associations in the first place.

5. Don’t assume one way or the other

Brains try to categorize things into boxes and binaries, as a way to simplify the world. This is natural, but also inaccurate! Reality is complex, and most things exist on a spectrum — sick or healthy, able-bodied or disabled, masculine or feminine… these labels lose so much of the beautiful nuance in life! Stopping ourselves from assuming one way or another allows all people to share the labor of self-disclosure, but also makes room for people who exist in the gray areas.

This can be used as an active practice for many types of identities. Imagine you are leading an activity for work or throwing a social event. When asking people to share their name, make it commonplace to share names and pronouns, or wear a name tag with your name and pronouns on it. That way, everyone gets used to asking for affirming pronouns without assuming one way or another, and the emotional work is shared rather than being solely on the shoulders of someone who is mis-gendered by someone they meet. Similarly, if planning an event, ask everyone if they have any needs or accommodations. This will help people with disabilities to feel less burdened by having to upset the norm, but also may support people with invisible disabilities, food allergies, or anyone who would benefit from a slight modification, who would not have been considered “disabled.” In general, don’t assume that you know someone’s identity or experience. Rather, provide opportunities for anyone to comfortably share!

6. Speak up… but not over!

You know that icky moment when someone says something a little racist, or sexist, or ableist, and you don’t know how to react so you just… do nothing? Unfortunately, staying neutral does not actually have a neutral effect. It reinforces the speaker’s bias, the silence saying that bigotry is acceptable here, and implies to anyone who was hurt by the statement that their well-being is valued less than the feelings of the person who hurt them. If you’ve ever been the target of such a comment, you know how emotionally triggering it can feel, and how heavy the weight of speaking up can be. That’s why it’s up to those of us with privilege in that moment to be allies, to actively raise our voices so that the people most hurt don’t have to carry that weight. It can feel very uncomfortable to speak out, but just remember how much harder it would feel if you were the one being hurt.

An important distinction, though — speaking up does not mean speaking over. If someone from that marginalized identity stands up for themselves, have their back! Show you support them with your body language, nodding agreement, or stepping in when you feel they are not being listened to. Try not to speak over them, or imply that you know better. Remember, you’re an ally, not the expert!

7. Amplify voices without your privilege

As stated above, it is important to allow people to speak up for themselves rather than speaking over them. Be aware, though, that people with a similar identity to you may hear you more than they’d hear the marginalized person. Use your identity and privilege to reach the ears that are not listening. Amplify the voices that aren’t heard!

One great way to amplify is reposting on social media (and giving credit, of course!), but it is also helpful in person. Say you are at a gathering and someone mentions that they can’t eat any of the food or climb the stairs to the bathroom. If you have the power to fix the problem, be an ally and do it! But if not, amplify their voice by telling those in charge about the problem and making sure it is resolved. Don’t let it all fall on them to advocate.

8. Respect safe spaces

Being marginalized, oppressed, or even misunderstood can be exhausting. Sometimes we need to kick back and relax with like-minded people who just get it. Respect that need without complaining that it’s excluding you.

9. Find ways that work for you

No one has limitless energy and willpower! You are more likely to be a good ally if you play to your strengths. Choose the methods that you know will be more sustainable. You could: volunteer, donate (or choose where to spend your money), protest, call public officials, write letters, create dialogue with friends and family, host a training, advocate for a friend, help someone get access to the supports the need… There are so many ways to be an ally!

10. You will make mistakes, and that’s ok!

Know that no one expects you to be perfect 100% of the time! Don’t hold back from helping just because you’re unsure of the best way to do it. If someone calls you out or offers feedback, try to see it as a way to grow rather than a criticism. Check out the Guide to Allyship’s Boots and Sandals analogy and suggestions for handling mistakes.

Take on the struggle as your own.
Stand up, even when you feel scared.
Transfer the benefits of your privilege to those who lack it.
Acknowledge that while you, too, feel pain, the conversation is not about you.

Guide to allyship
0
FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Ariela Paulsen

Ari struggled with a wide array of health problems for decades before being diagnosed with EDS/POTS/MCAS/etc at age 25. She began writing as a way to heal while spreading information and helping others through their own journeys. She loves being part of the Mighty Well team, sharing the stories and strengths of spoonies everywhere!

previous post
Bias in Medicine: 5 Tips to Self-Advocate
next post
Adaptive Athletics, Giving Back, and Turning Passion into Career: Interview with Jacob Pacheco

You may also like

Real people sick

November 3, 2021

Nurses Appreciation Week: Thank You

May 7, 2019

Keeping Friends from the Depths of your Fight:...

June 19, 2019

Your Mind Is a Powerful Tool: 6 Lessons...

January 9, 2017

High Functioning Anxiety

April 3, 2017

5 Ways to Get the Most From Your...

September 29, 2020

Careers & Chronic Illness: Tips on Navigating a...

September 23, 2019

Holiday Gift Guide for Friends Who Have Chronic...

November 22, 2018

Reflecting at the End of a Decade

December 30, 2019

Beautiful Disguise

March 15, 2017

About Us

Hi, We're Mighty Well.

The mission of Mighty Well is to help patients and their caregivers turn sickness into strength. We are leading the global charge that changes the perception of patients from victims to fighters. We do this by improving the experience of being a patient. We create the products we wish we’d had: functional and stylish apparel and accessories that you can wear with confidence - and content that can help you get through the good times and the bad. It’s wellness you can wear.

Keep in touch

Facebook Twitter Instagram

Instagram

No images found!
Try some other hashtag or username

Recent Posts

  • Myasthenia Gravis Awareness Month

    June 22, 2022
  • Body Image and Mental Health in the Time of Covid

    June 16, 2022
  • Accessing Medical Supplies

    June 10, 2022
  • 4 Tips for Creating a Disability Inclusive Workplace

    June 3, 2022
  • Halsey Celebrates New Diagnoses

    May 26, 2022

Categories

  • Adaptive Wear
  • Chronic Illness
  • Featured
  • Friends in the Fight
  • General Wellness
  • Healthy Work Environments
  • Lyme Disease
  • Medical Devices
  • Mightier Together
  • Mighty Models
  • PICC Line
  • Popular Posts
  • Relationships and Support
  • The Undefeated
  • Treatment and Care
  • Uncategorized

Tags Cloud

Adulting Be Your Own Advocate blm Cancer Chronic Illness coronavirus coronoavirus covid-19 Daily Brain Fog Fix Diabetes Dysautonomia EDS feeding tube Feeding Tubes feeding tube supplies Gastroparesis holidays how does a feeding tube work immuno hoodie invisible illnesses Living Mighty Well Living With a PICC Living with a Port lyme disease MCAS Medications MedPlanner mental health Mental Illness mighty mask Mighty Pack mighty well mask Misdiagnosed neurodiversity New Years Organization Tips PICC PICC line cover PICCPerfect POTS Self-love self care case Support Systems TPN Tube Feeding

Our Story

Mighty Well - Founder - Emily Levy - Our Story

 

It all started with a cut off sock, a cute hockey player, and an 8 AM finance class. Oh, and a PICC Line. That moment inspired us to launch our first product, the PICCPerfect PICC Line Cover.

 

We know it stinks to feel defined by a diagnosis or feel like just a name on a doctor’s chart. Sounds like you? Read how our founder turned sickness into strength.

Recent Posts

  • Myasthenia Gravis Awareness Month

    June 22, 2022
  • Body Image and Mental Health in the Time of Covid

    June 16, 2022
  • Accessing Medical Supplies

    June 10, 2022

Join the Fight

Mighty Well's Facebook Page

Find us on Instagram

mightywell_

One positive that came out of the pandemic was tha One positive that came out of the pandemic was that many of us were able to have flexible working arrangements. As more states lift restrictions, heading back to work after months of working from home can be a huge adjustment for so many of us. Allowing time in our schedules for commuting, brushing up on our social skills, and making sure to have access to our medical supplies are just a few things we need to prepare for.

📸 Mighty Well ambassador @ameliablackwater headed back to the classroom last week and is working on finding a happy balance of working, socializing, and finding time for herself. 

If you've returned to work, what was the hardest part about making the transition back? 
.
.

#MightyWell #YouAreMighty #FriendsInTheFight #LiveMightyWell #Undefeated #InvisibleIllness #AutoimmuneDisease #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #SpoonieLife #SpoonieCommunity #AdaptiveWear #KeepFighting  #SupportSystem #PICC #PICCLine #Port #Autism #WFH #RemoteWork #Telecommute #MightyWellMask #Pandemic
Before you move forward always be sure to check th Before you move forward always be sure to check the price tag 💵
.
.
#MightyWell #YouAreMighty #FriendsInTheFight #LiveMightyWell #Undefeated #InvisibleIllness #AutoimmuneDisease #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #SpoonieLife #SpoonieCommunity #AdaptiveWear #KeepFighting  #SupportSystem #PICC #PICCLine #Port #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD
Life is full of uncertainties. But there will alwa Life is full of uncertainties. But there will always be a sunrise after every sunset 🌅

"The only certainty in life is uncertainty. I challenge you to embrace it. Even if it's just for a bit" ~@kali_rarerootedwarrior ☺️

Featuring: The Mighty Pack & Undefeated Hat
.
.
 #MightyWell #YouAreMighty #FriendsInTheFight #LiveMightyWell #Undefeated #InvisibleIllness #AutoimmuneDisease #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #SpoonieLife #SpoonieCommunity #AdaptiveWear #KeepFighting  #SupportSystem #PICC #PICCLine #Port #Gastroparesis #EDS #MastCellDisease
We really love this message from @lizandmollie. In We really love this message from @lizandmollie. In fact, we couldn't have said it better ourselves 🤗 Chronic illness is filled with ups and downs and everyday will look a little different. Know that you're doing your best even on the days that you are flaring, in pain or fatigued. Remember that we are here to support you on the good days, the bad days and all the ones in between 💚 
. 
.
#MightyWell #YouAreMighty #FriendsInTheFight #LiveMightyWell #Undefeated #InvisibleIllness #AutoimmuneDisease #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #SpoonieLife #SpoonieCommunity #AdaptiveWear #KeepFighting  #SupportSystem #PICC #PICCLine #Port #ChronicFatigue #MultipleSclerosis #Lupus #SickleCellAnemia #Endometriosis #POTS
Going into a medical procedure is always a little Going into a medical procedure is always a little scary. The best way to minimize fear and anxiety is to go in as prepared as you can! If you are feeling nervous for an upcoming PICC line placement procedure, head to our latest blog (link in bio) for some confidence boosting tips so you can feel ready to go! 

📷 Friend in the Fight @zebrajemma loves her PICCPerfect PICC Line Cover. It keeps her PICC line in place without adhesives and is so comfortable 🤗
.
.
 #MightyWell #YouAreMighty #FriendsInTheFight #LiveMightyWell #Undefeated #InvisibleIllness #AutoimmuneDisease #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #SpoonieLife #SpoonieCommunity #AdaptiveWear #KeepFighting  #SupportSystem #PICC #PICCLine #Port #IVIG
You can hardly wait to tell everyone what happened You can hardly wait to tell everyone what happened and  suddenly start talking and realize you don't know where the story is going...has this happened to anyone else lately 🙋‍♂️We've been there! Brain fog, perhaps the most universal aspect of illness, is exhausting. Cognitive disorders can be frustrating but take solace in knowing that you are not alone. We've all experienced that foggy feeling 🌫 and although it's not permanent, it can arrive quickly and definitely overstay its welcome. 

Looking for a little help getting the fog to lift? Our Brain Fog Fix Planner is more than just a reminder system. It includes space to track daily symptoms, hydration, thoughts and moments of gratitude amidst the daily challenges and is brought to you with input from our Friends in the Fight® Click the link in our bio to find out more. 
.
.
 #MightyWell #YouAreMighty #FriendsInTheFight #LiveMightyWell #Undefeated #InvisibleIllness #AutoimmuneDisease #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #SpoonieLife #SpoonieCommunity #AdaptiveWear #KeepFighting  #SupportSystem #PICC #PICCLine #Port #BrainFog #ChronicFatigue #CognitiveDisorder
We've got your back! Our Mighty Pack is the first We've got your back! Our Mighty Pack is the first medical backpack designed by patients, for patients. Our backpack is perfect for wheelchair users, as it has multiple strap locations to allow for flexibility. Nobody needs to know that you are carrying or wearing your essential medical devices and supplies. As patients ourselves, this is a product that we wish we’d had! 💪💚 Best of all this can be purchased with most FSAs (Flexible Spending Accounts) and HSAs (Health Savings Accounts) Click on the photo to take a look inside the Mighty Pack. 

📹 We are all smiles over this video of Mighty Well ambassador @rebellious_story & her dog Sherlock 😍
.
.
 #MightyWell #YouAreMighty #FriendsInTheFight #LiveMightyWell #Undefeated #Community #Health #Wellness #ButYouDontLookSick #InvisibleIllness #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #ChronicIllnessWarrior #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #SpoonieLife #SpoonieCommunity #LivingwithChronicIllness #Crohns #InfusionPump #MedicalBackpack #DiabeticLife #Gastroparesis #EnteralNutrition #Wheelchair #Tubefeeding #MedicalSupplies #TubeFed
The school year is quickly coming to a close and w The school year is quickly coming to a close and we wanted to send a Mighty shout out to all the students who worked so hard this year despite the challenges of COVID 🙌 We know that it was a challenging year with limited in-person learning, social distancing, and the requirement of face masks. We are so proud of all of you and you should be too! 💚

📸 Featuring The Mighty Well Mask
.
.
 #MightyWell #YouAreMighty #FriendsInTheFight #LiveMightyWell #Undefeated #InvisibleIllness #AutoimmuneDisease #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #SpoonieLife #SpoonieCommunity #AdaptiveWear #KeepFighting  #SupportSystem #PICC #PICCLine #Port #Pandemic #HomeSchool #Graduation #SocialDistancing
I’m proud to be trans and I’m proud to be disa I’m proud to be trans and I’m proud to be disabled — because you can’t put a boundary on being yourself ~@thedisabledhippie
 
Happy Pride Month to all of our Friends in the Fight in the LBGTQIA+ community 🏳️‍🌈
.
.
#MightyWell #YouAreMighty #FriendsInTheFight #LiveMightyWell #Undefeated #InvisibleIllness #AutoimmuneDisease #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #LymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #SpoonieLife #SpoonieCommunity #AdaptiveWear #Pride #LBGTQ #Transgender #LoveisLove #NonBinary #BiSexual #GayPride #Instalove
Follow on Instagram
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins
There has been a problem with your Instagram Feed.
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Linkedin

Mighty Well © 2018 All Rights Reserved


Back To Top